eHarmony update #24
May 11, 2009 everythingforareason
OK, so I made it just a week after the break-up before I turned my matching back on. I’d originally only paid for a 3 month subscription, but little did I know that you have to actually CANCEL your subscription or that greedy conglomerate called eHarmony automatically renews you and charges your credit card accordingly. This had happened while things with The CPA were going well. Quite frankly, I started getting scared when it automatically renewed though, because I took it as a sign that I would need it. I was right.
I figured, as long as it’s paid for, I may as well take advantage of it. Only this time around, my standards are a lot stricter, and I put my settings higher. I’m willing to have fewer matches if they are ones that I’d actually be interested in. I’m not willing to travel as far this time. 3 1/2 hours was too far. I also realized how important physical attractiveness is to me. I’d tried to not make it so, because I saw it as shallow, but now I know that if I can’t get excited about how a guy looks, I know that it’s not going to work out. For the most part, I’m also letting the guys contact me. I found that online dating works the same way as real life—if the guy doesn’t make the first move, he’s not interested and isn’t going to respond if you do make the first move.
There was one guy, however, that really piqued my interest. He fit all my criteria (tall, cute, good job, lives close to me, Christian, conservative, smart, outgoing). I waited a couple of days to see if he would contact me, but he hadn’t even looked at my profile. Like I said, he really piqued my interest and so I proceeded to stalk him on myspace and facebook. Turns out that we have 3 mutual friends. I decided to skip the normal eHarmony process, where he might not even get my communication if he’s a non-paying member. I messaged him on facebook, saying that I found him on my friend’s list and that I remembered him from eHarmony. I know, gutsy move, but I thought I’d take a shot. Well, that was over 2 days ago and I haven’t heard from him. Sure, he could be out of town, his internet could be down, his computer could be broken, whatever…..but not likely. I don’t make excuses for guys’ poor behavior anymore. If he’s not decent enough to even reply, then he’s not someone I want to date anyway.
NEXT!
Entry Filed under: This is why I'm single, dating, eHarmony and tagged: dating, eHarmony, internet dating, online dating
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1. gmcastil&hellip | May 12, 2009 at 10:29 pm
Wow. You know, it’s really too bad that you don’t live in Colorado.
I also realized how important physical attractiveness is to me. I’d tried to not make it so, because I saw it as shallow, but now I know that if I can’t get excited about how a guy looks…
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be attracted to someone – a lot of Christians try to pretend that there is something inherently sinful to that. There isn’t, unless that becomes the source of their value.
<iI found that online dating works the same way as real life—if the guy doesn’t make the first move, he’s not interested and isn’t going to respond if you do make the first move.
I can’t speak to the internet dating thing, since I don’t do it, but I wouldn’t mind addressing the issue of guys making the first move in the real world. In defense of men, it can be difficult to do it – I’m not sure if girls realize how deep fear of rejection can be for guys. That said, men who are chronically afraid of initiative and carry that with them into marriage often wind up in a role-reversal situation. Not good.
In the real world, by all means, look for a guy with a spine. But, don’t be afraid to make it easier for him. As far as the eHarmony thing goes, you’re on your own – can’t help you there.
I don’t make excuses for guys’ poor behavior anymore. If he’s not decent enough to even reply, then he’s not someone I want to date anyway.
I don’t blame you. I followed your interlude with the CPA with great interest and it’s really sad that he led you on the way that he did. I’m not really sure why some of my brothers do that sort of thing.
Don’t blame yourself for any of that, by the way – you were absolutely justified in concluding that he was interested. He went out of his way to do so. Of course, don’t make the next guy pay for the mistakes of the last, but keep your gloves up.
~ George
2. everythingforareason&hellip | May 13, 2009 at 5:16 am
George, I really appreciate your comments. They offer a lot of insight.
Tonight I took the time to read through your blog too….and yeah, it’s really a shame that I don’t live in Colorado. Plus I hear that it’s gorgeous.
3. gmcastil&hellip | May 13, 2009 at 5:34 am
Tonight I took the time to read through your blog too….and yeah, it’s really a shame that I don’t live in Colorado. Plus I hear that it’s gorgeous.
You must have had some time on your hands. I should apologize – some of my posts are rather….frank.
And yes, Colorado is gorgeous. I was really lucky – I picked this place off the map. I’ve been here for 9 years and I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. Keep your chin up – spring is just around the corner.
~ George
4. everythingforareason&hellip | May 13, 2009 at 5:44 am
Well, you see, the longer I put off going to bed the longer it is until morning and I have to go back to work. I like my job, but it’s still, you know….work.
Don’t you worry, I’m pretty good at keeping my chin up.
5. Billig a kasse&hellip | June 22, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Great post man, keep up the good work
6. everythingforareason&hellip | August 3, 2009 at 5:59 pm
I’m a lady, not a man….but I appreciate the sentiment.
7. taletid&hellip | August 2, 2009 at 7:50 am
super post..
8. billige mobiler&hellip | August 3, 2009 at 1:00 pm
I kan only agree with our post. good work.