Posts filed under ‘eHarmony’
eHarmony just won’t quit.
I canceled my subscription to eHarmony almost two months ago (for a multitude of reasons…..the biggest reason no longer applies). The only way to do it is to change your settings to NOT automatically renew when your subscription expires, and you can turn your “matching” off if you want. That’s exactly what I did, and eHarmony left me alone for a while. Now that I am just days away from the expiration, I’m getting daily e-mails from eHarmony, featuring a photo of some good-looking couple that was supposedly matched up by eHarmony, and begging me to renew. This is a little snippet from today’s e-mail:
You’ve reached an important milestone in your relationship with eHarmony. Your membership is going to expire in just a few days and your account is not set to renew automatically.
The journey to finding that special someone isn’t always easy or fast, but we believe that ultimately, you will find that great relationship you’ve been looking for on eHarmony.
It then goes on to tell me HOW to renew, in case I’m not bright enough to figure out how to do that on my own. It’s super-easy to renew….the difficulty was in canceling in the first place! It’s really creepy how they personalized the e-mail by my name too….eww. I love how they refer to my subscription as a “relationship.”
Well, eHarmony, we had a good run. At least I got some laughs out of it.
1 comment July 18, 2009
eHarmony update #24
OK, so I made it just a week after the break-up before I turned my matching back on. I’d originally only paid for a 3 month subscription, but little did I know that you have to actually CANCEL your subscription or that greedy conglomerate called eHarmony automatically renews you and charges your credit card accordingly. This had happened while things with The CPA were going well. Quite frankly, I started getting scared when it automatically renewed though, because I took it as a sign that I would need it. I was right.
I figured, as long as it’s paid for, I may as well take advantage of it. Only this time around, my standards are a lot stricter, and I put my settings higher. I’m willing to have fewer matches if they are ones that I’d actually be interested in. I’m not willing to travel as far this time. 3 1/2 hours was too far. I also realized how important physical attractiveness is to me. I’d tried to not make it so, because I saw it as shallow, but now I know that if I can’t get excited about how a guy looks, I know that it’s not going to work out. For the most part, I’m also letting the guys contact me. I found that online dating works the same way as real life—if the guy doesn’t make the first move, he’s not interested and isn’t going to respond if you do make the first move.
There was one guy, however, that really piqued my interest. He fit all my criteria (tall, cute, good job, lives close to me, Christian, conservative, smart, outgoing). I waited a couple of days to see if he would contact me, but he hadn’t even looked at my profile. Like I said, he really piqued my interest and so I proceeded to stalk him on myspace and facebook. Turns out that we have 3 mutual friends. I decided to skip the normal eHarmony process, where he might not even get my communication if he’s a non-paying member. I messaged him on facebook, saying that I found him on my friend’s list and that I remembered him from eHarmony. I know, gutsy move, but I thought I’d take a shot. Well, that was over 2 days ago and I haven’t heard from him. Sure, he could be out of town, his internet could be down, his computer could be broken, whatever…..but not likely. I don’t make excuses for guys’ poor behavior anymore. If he’s not decent enough to even reply, then he’s not someone I want to date anyway.
NEXT!
8 comments May 11, 2009
eHarmony update #23
I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairytale
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
~ White Horse by Taylor Swift
The CPA dumped me last night. Things had actually been going very well—he had been calling me every night and introduced me to all of his close friends this past weekend. He even had us double with one of his best friends and his fiance. Then when he called the next day, he wasn’t talkative at all, which is unusual for him. When I asked him about it, he said that he had a lot on his mind. I tried to think positive, that it didn’t have anything to do with me. Then he called again last night, and it was the same story. He said that work was fine, so I knew that wasn’t it. After about 20 minutes of me talking and him barely saying anything, he said that he had something he needed to say. Stupid me, I thought that he might actually be bringing up the topic of us making our relationship “official.” God forbid a good guy want that with me. He proceeded to tell me that he wasn’t “feeling it.” He said that he had tried and wanted to feel it, but that it felt forced and that it wasn’t fair to either of us. He said, “Believe me, believe, BELIEVE ME that it has NOTHING to do with you. It has nothing to do with anything that you said or did. It is all me.” Of course, I’m thinking, “but it’s ME that YOU don’t feel attracted to.”
I told him that I appreciated the fact that he was a man about it and told me, and that I wasn’t completely surprised because he had never tried anything physical with me, even after 5 dates. I also told him that he treated me better than any other guy I’ve ever known. I was too numb to be mad at him. He thanked me for not yelling and screaming at him. I said, “Well, I’m not one of those crazy girls.” He said, “And that’s another point in your favor.”
Had I developed feelings for him? If I’m being totally honest, not really. But he IS a wonderful guy and I thought that he was interested in me, so I was willing to give it a try. I know that it’s best in the long run, because obviously we aren’t right for each other. It just hurts now, because it’s yet another failed relationship. Yet another guy that doesn’t want to be with me. I’m the girl that everyone says is so amazing, are shocked that I’m always single. Everyone (even the guys that have gone out with me, like The CPA) says that I’m beautiful, smart, hard-working, sweet, kind, successful, etc.
I’m the girl that people say is perfect, but no one wants to date.
2 comments April 29, 2009
eHarmony update #22
Things with The CPA are, well, wonderful. I couldn’t ask for a guy that treats me any better or is better suited for me. I’m very lucky, I know. This is still very early, but so far, so good.
This past Saturday I visited him, and even got to meet his dad. He took me to downtown Chicago for a walking architecture tour around Millennium Park, which is something that he went out of his way to find because he knew that I would enjoy it. It wasn’t cheap, either, when you factor in the $29 it cost just to park in the city. After the tour, we went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner, my treat. It was his birthday weekend, after all. I also got him a card and brought him a homemade cupcake. It was a perfect day. On my drove home, he even called me and we talked for another hour. Gee, I guess the guy likes me…..a lot.
Easter Sunday, we were able to meet up for coffee after our family dinners. He happened to be coming to Bloomington to have dinner with his dad and his dad’s fiance, and my family lives in Bloomington also. We talked for over 3 hours. Time literally flies when we’re together.
His birthday was Monday. I was planning on calling him to wish him a happy birthday after I got off work and before he got together with his friends. I didn’t even have to, because before I could, he sent me a facebook message. He thanked me for coming up to see him, told me that it was very thoughtful of me, hoped that I was having a good Monday, and that he would try to call me if the party didn’t go too late. Of course, he did call me as soon as he left the party.
We found out that we had a missed connection a couple of years ago. His junior high youth group pastor ended up being my college group pastor, years later, and we both know the pastor and his family very well. The CPA visited them a couple of years ago and attended my church one weekend. We must have passed each other in the hallway. He also said that he went to their house for lunch after church, as they were hosting a lunch for the post-college singles and wanted him to meet some girl. He said that he doesn’t remember anything about the girl. I laughed and told him that I would have to call our pastor’s wife and tease her about setting him up with the wrong girl. This also makes me glad to hear, because now I know someone that knows him and trusted him enough to set him up with someone.
The CPA is busy this weekend, but I think we’ll probably be seeing each other the weekend after that. My eHarmony subscription expires in 5 days, and I have no reason or desire to renew it.
Life is good.
Add comment April 15, 2009
eHarmony update #21
This weekend was date #2 with The CPA. We had a lot of fun, and it could really be more than 1 date since it lasted for nearly the whole weekend. He had to work Saturday morning, and then made the 3 hour drive to my house. Since the weather was gorgeous, we took my dog for a walk in the park, and then came back to my house for dinner. I had prepared pot roast, potatoes, carrots, homemade bread, and a crock-pot peanut butter brownie dessert with vanilla ice cream. He loved it. Then we went to my office and I showed him around and showed him some of the projects I’ve been working on. We then went bowling, which he paid for, and I proceeded to beat him at 2 games. It’s always rough when you beat a guy at a game on a date. I must have just made him nervous. 
I decided that 2 games was enough, and suggested that we watch a movie. Nothing was playing that we wanted to both see, so we rented Miss Congeniality 2 and went back to my place. I had just bought a new TV, so he helped me carry out my old one and then set up the new one for me. The movie was fun and then we just stayed up and talked for a good hour after the movie ended. My dog loves him—they cuddled on the couch! haha. The CPA ended up leaving for his hotel about 1:30.
Sunday morning he came back, and I made waffles, bacon, coffee, and orange juice for breakfast. We went to church, and then he asked if there was a hardware store around. I directed him to Lowe’s, where he picked up a couple of things and asked if I thought they would work. I said, “what for?” He said, “for the lights in you bathroom.” I melted right there. He bought them and installed them for me. Then we went to Noodles for lunch, which he paid for as well, and even pulled the car up to the door so that I wouldn’t get rained on. After lunch we went to the Lincoln Museum, which again, he paid for. We had to share an umbrella in the rain…..oh darn. The museum was pretty cool. After that, we went back to my place and had tea and chatted for a while, and I made some simple pasta for dinner. He was planning on heading back home about 6, but ended up staying and talking until about 7:30. He kind of lingered for a while in my kitchen, and I think he was trying to decide what he should say about “us.” He ended up saying, “So, if you’re still willing to come up next weekend, that would be cool.” I said yeah, I’m willing, and he hugged me and left.
I was a little concerned that he still didn’t even try to hold my hand, so when he called me 2 hours after he left, I thought he had called to break up with me. Turns out, he was just calling to let me know how his drive was going, and to ask if I wanted to go on an architecture walk in Chicago on Saturday. He had made some phone calls on the drive, thinking that I would enjoy that sort of thing. So it does sound like the guy really likes me….I guess he’s just taking it slow?
Add comment April 7, 2009
eHarmony update #20
I’m not sure how many more eHarmony updates I’ll be posting, as things are going extremely well with The CPA and I rarely even log into eHarmony anymore. Usually the only reason I login is to see if The CPA has looked at my profile again. Hey, I like to know that he likes looking at me.
It has been over a week since our date and our next date isn’t scheduled until a week from this coming Saturday. We were both busy last weekend, and he has to work this Saturday, and we live 3 hours apart. He has called me most days though, either for a short “check in” or a long conversation, depending on our time and what else we have going on that night. Yesterday we talked for nearly 3 hours as he drove home from visiting his sister in Minneapolis. Each conversation just keeps telling me that I’d be an idiot to let this guy go. After 2 hours of conversation, this is the dialogue that transpired:
Me: It stinks that you have to work next Saturday.
CPA: Yeah it does. I’m guessing you want to hang out, right?
Me: No, I was just feeling sorry for you.
CPA: Yeah, that’s usually how it goes….mocking me.
Me: Yes, I’m mocking you.
CPA: Well, I might be able to get out of work early if I had a good excuse.
Me: I can give you a good excuse.
And so, there we have another date scheduled before the original date #2, thereby bumping it to date #3. I’m excited. I’m expecting that we’ll make it “official” this weekend.
I love how we joke around:
CPA: I’m very sarcastic.
Me: Yeah, but at least people can tell when you’re being sarcastic and when you’re serious.
CPA: Well, YOU can. A lot of people can’t tell.
OK, so I did kind of have a date scheduled with Bachelor #3 for that day. I had been deliberating over whether to break it off with him or not. Then I found myself telling The CPA that he should get out of work early so we could go out. So….I kind of answered that question for myself. I ended up canceling it.
Add comment March 30, 2009
eHarmony update #19
Saturday was my first date with Bachelor #2. It went VERY well….I’m am a very lucky girl.
We met at Panera at noon, and I was immediately relieved when I saw him, as he did look like his photos. He wasn’t hiding any body fat like the first guy. He’s not a model or anything, but I found him mildly attractive. I gave him a hug and we exchanged pleasantries. Then we went to the counter to order our food. I played the “wallet dance” where I reach into my purse for my wallet, hoping that the guy insists on paying. Fortunately, he did. We got our food and sat and talked for about an hour, at which point he cleared away my tray. I excused myself to the restroom, and when I came out he was on his phone, just making sure that the museum we were planning on visiting was open.
By this point in time, I felt comfortable that he was who he said he was so I had no problem leaving my car there and riding with him in his. He opened all doors for me, including the car door. He brought his black Mustang convertible and the weather was gorgeous, so we rode with the top down. I loved it. He said that he was glad he was finally getting a chance to use the car for the purpose for which he bought it. Then we went to an aviation museum, and he paid again. After the museum, we went to the zoo. I liked that part a lot. I paid for our admission, and I think he was surprised and appreciative. I figured it was the least I could do. While we were there, a mom with a baby stroller was struggling through a gate and he ran and held it open for her. When I saw that, I thought, “this guy is a keeper.”
After the zoo, we drove over the the trail and went for a walk since the weather was so nice. My shoes weren’t exactly perfect for walking a long distance (I wore ballet flats since he’s only a couple of inches taller than me), but I didn’t mind. I had locked my purse in his trunk, and when we got back to the car he opened the door for me of course, closed it, and then retrieved my purse out of the trunk and handed it to me. I could hardly believe it!
We went to TGI Friday’s for dinner, and again, he picked up the check. He even noticed when my iced tea was running low and asked the server for a refill. I could really get used to this sort of treatment. After dinner we went to a hockey game. My dad has season tickets, so it was free for us to go. We had a lot of fun. I really don’t care about hockey, but it’s a fun date. We somehow managed to keep conversation flowing for the entire 10 hours that we were together….that is officially the longest first date I have ever been on. I think it’s the longest date I’ve been on EVER. It was fun. He drove me back to my car after the game, and I told him that I had a good time and hugged him. He said that he hoped we could keep talking, and I responded encouragingly. Then he waited to make sure I got into my car safely and waved as I drove away.
I was pretty sure that he would call the next day, and he didn’t fail me. He called about 6 on Sunday, and said that he would’ve called earlier but he’d gone for a bike ride and then needed a nap. We talked for 2 hours and he initiated a second date. I’m going to visit him in 3 weeks to celebrate his birthday. We would get together sooner but we both have things going on the next 2 weekends. I said that I was glad that he called, and he said that he was definitely planning on calling but was glad that I was glad that he called!
He called again tonight as well. He only had about 10 minutes in between my getting out of church and him going to a friend’s house to watch 24, but he said that he “wanted to check in,” and that we could talk longer tomorrow.
I had the goofiest grin all day. I keep pinching myself. I didn’t think that real MEN like this existed anymore—men who know how to treat a woman with respect and take care of her, who are kind and appreciate, who are intelligent, funny, financially stable, dependable, hard working, and attractive. I feel like he’s making up for all the crappy treatment I’ve received from way too many guys in the past *cough The Traveler cough*. My Bachelor #2 deserves a real nickname now. He will now be referred to as The CPA.
Add comment March 24, 2009
eHarmony update #18
Bachelor #2 and I are humming along very well. We have quite the date planned out for Saturday. I’m very excited. We also spent over 2 hours on the phone again last night—that makes 6 hours total in the last week. Tonight I’m going shopping for a new outfit to wear.
As luck would have it, Bachelor #3 asked me out for Saturday as well. Very ironic. I went 8 months without a date, and then I get asked out by 2 different guys for the same day. I told him that I have plans. He was disappointed because he’s going to be in Springfield that day anyway, and it’s the only day he has available for a while. I told him that I’m open to meeting for dinner during the week, but he just said that we’ll figure something out.
I turned my matching off a few days ago. I’m barely getting any matches anymore, and I found myself not even wanting to meet anyone new right now. If things don’t work out this weekend, then I’ll probably turn it back on.
Remember the guy that asked how I felt about premarital sex? He never responded to my last communication. Gee, guess he was disappointed with my answer. Sorry bud. That’s how it is.
2 comments March 18, 2009
eHarmony update #17
I’m very excited. Bachelor #2 called again Thursday night for an hour and a half, and then again today for over an hour….and he asked me out. He’s coming down to visit me next weekend, and we’re spending the day together. There’s just something about this guy….I was so pumped for the rest of the night, I could barely sit still. I love that feeling!
Add comment March 15, 2009
eHarmony update #16
Bachelor #2 e-mailed me late Wednesday night, after he got back from the hockey game. He told me what a pleasure it was to finally talk to me on the phone, and that he missed the second period of the game but “it was worth it.”
Then he called me again last night, literally as he was leaving Bible study. I even heard the ding of the key in the ignition of his car. After about an hour or so, I told him that it was late and I probably shouldn’t keep him up any longer. He said that he was fine, and it really wasn’t that late, and we proceeded to talk for another 30 minutes. It’s kind of weird how similar our backgrounds and lives are. We discussed that we’re going to keep talking for a while, and that we plan on meeting sometime in the near future. You never know until you meet in person, but we have really seemed to click over the phone. I’m in a good mood today. I think I could like this one.
Add comment March 13, 2009
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