Posts filed under ‘Random’
You gotta be kidding me.
When I opened my mail yesterday, I found a Christmas card from my old employer. Lay me off and then wish me happy holidays…..nice. I was tempted to write “return to sender” on it and stick it back into the mail.
Add comment December 16, 2009
Trophy Wife
I just got back from a Halloween costume party and I dressed up as—you guessed—it a trophy wife. It was quite a hit. I don’t normally post photos of myself here (except for the icon, but that’s tiny and only shows my face) because I generally don’t want strangers to know what I look like, but the costume was too fun to not share.
The amazing thing was that the whole outfit cost me $5 for the ribbon. I wore the wig 3 years ago as Marilyn Monroe, and everything else is mine. The best part? I bought the dress when I was 16!
Add comment October 31, 2009
Letter to my Neighbors
My dear neighbors (who will never read this, but I still need to put it out there in case the reader recognizes himself doing the same things),
You live in an apartment building, not your own free-standing house. Please remember that you have neighbors, using the same sidewalk, lawn, parking lot, courtyard, and dumpster as you. With that in mind, I have some helpful suggestions for showing respect for your neighbors:
1. Don’t haul out the entire contents of your unit and put them in and around the dumpster the day that the trash is taken, thereby forcing the other 7 tenants to find somewhere else to put their trash for a week. Don’t think I didn’t notice the couch that you wedged on-end in the dumpster.
2. Clean up after your pets. Seriously.
3. Don’t let your kids run around unsupervised. Cars whip around the alley behind the building and I don’t trust the shady people that I see passing by all the time. It would take 2 seconds to run them over or kidnap them. You don’t even know me, for that matter, and your kids have tried to follow me into my home on numerous occasions. Fortunately, I’m safe.
4. Everyone else doesn’t want to hear you and your buddy enjoying the subwoofers in your trunk at 7:30 in the morning.
5. Don’t leave personal belongings on the stoop. I shouldn’t have to step over your trash or your laundry to get out of my unit. Don’t be lazy.
Thanks much,
Your mild-mannered neighbor
Add comment October 30, 2009
Yet another blood donation fiasco
Despite the injuries I sustained the last time I donated blood, I gave it another try. I was successful in giving this time, and heeded their advice by having a good lunch, drinking lots of water, and refrained from exercising for 4 hours. After 4 hours, I hit the gym for a lighter version of my regular cardio workout. I at least knew better than to do any weight-lifting. After about 40 minutes (I usually go 60), I was on the elliptical and started getting short of breath. I was tempted to push through it but decided that it would be wise to get off and cool down. As soon as I stepped off the elliptical, my vision started getting spotty and I felt dizzy. I held onto one of the arms on the elliptical as my vision and my hearing went. I knew this wasn’t good, and I didn’t think I could walk anywhere to get help. I ended up passing out but still managed to hold onto the elliptical.
A few minutes later, one of the managers walked past me to close up the ladies locker room. She noticed me standing there with my eyes closed, and white as a sheet. She tried to get my attention but I was out of it and didn’t hear her. She later told me that she tried to get me to sit down and asked me questions for a couple of minutes before I responded. She got one of the guys to help me sit down, got me some Powerade, and I slowly came to. My vision and hearing returned, but I shook for about 20 minutes. I drew quite a crowd too….when I finally became cognizant, I realized that 5 people were standing around watching me. Fortunately one of them was a med student, and he told me I should never work out the same day as donating blood. Awesome.
Of course, as luck would have it, the guy that came to help me is gorgeous, and he saw me passed out, smelly with sweat, and with a soaked shirt (I’m not quite sure how that happened….I must have tried unsuccessfully to get water into my mouth). Not too embarrassing.
Add comment September 27, 2009
Restroom doors with style
This past weekend I was in Pittsburgh with some girlfriends. While there, we went out to eat at Tonic Bar & Grill. You know how restrooms are marked “men and women” usually, but some places go creative with names like “guys and dolls” or “bucks and does”? Well, this place didn’t use words at all. It took me a second, but I knew to not choose the banana door.
2 comments September 2, 2009
Culinary Arts
I don’t think I’ve mentioned this here before, but I really enjoy the culinary arts. I was actually planning on being a chef first, and looked into chef schools. When I was 16 I was talked out of it by my oral surgeon (I only had my wisdom teeth removed….don’t get any funny ideas!), who had dabbled with being a chef himself. I decided that I didn’t want to work every night, weekend, and holiday for the rest of my life, so I went to my second love of interior design and got my coveted 8-5 schedule.
Now that my career is figured out, I’ve decided to go back and take classes for fun. I’m registering for an Italian cooking class at the local community college. It meets 4 times this fall. Italian is my favorite, and I do a decent job at it, but I know that there’s a lot more to Italian cooking than I know. Funny story about this class though…..my favorite boss (I have 4 of them!) told me that he had been wanting to take the class too for a while….so it turns out that we’ll be taking the class together. Not exactly what I had planned, but it should still be fun. Hey, at least I’ll know someone there.
I found myself with some summer squash and spinach that I needed to use up before it went bad, so I made my own pasta dish tonight for dinner. I just sauteed some chicken, squash, and spinach in olive oil and seasoned with garlic salt. Then I boiled whole wheat rotini and tossed it all together with parmesan cheese and olive oil. It was amazing, if I do say so myself. 
I also made banana chocolate chip scones (also whole wheat….I’m a bit of a health nut) since it was my turn to host Bible study and I had some old bananas to use. It’s one of my favorites, so I’m including the recipe below.
Whole-wheat Banana Chocolate Chip Scones
Whole-wheat Banana Chocolate Chip Scones
1 cup white flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 cup butter
3/4 cup mashed ripe banana
1 egg
2 tablespoons buttermilk (you can make “buttermilk” by adding a few drops of vinegar or lemon juice to regular milk)
1 teaspoon vanilla
3/4 cup mini semi-sweet chocolate chips
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Lightly grease a baking sheet. In a large bowl, combine flour, brown sugar, baking powder, and baking soda. Cut the butter into 1/2-inch cubes and cut into the mixture with a pastry blender. In a small bowl, combine the banana, egg, buttermilk, and vanilla. Add to the flour mixture and stir to combine. Stir in the chocolate chips. Shape the dough into a 9-inch circle on the prepared baking sheet. With a serrated knife, score (cut) just the top of the dough into 8 wedges. Bake for 19-21 minutes, or until lightly browned and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Let cool for 5 minutes, and then transfer the scones to a wire rack to finish cooling.
Add comment August 12, 2009
My Favorite TV and Movie Love Quotes
Every time I am hit by a line from a TV show or a movie, I write it down. The following is from my collection:
Karen talking about dating: “I’ve got a lifetime subscription to the losers club.”
Will: “Let’s go to Blockbuster and put all the romantic comedies in the science fiction section.”
~ Will & Grace
“My dad always said that life never goes as planned. I just wish I realized at the time that he was talking about MY life.” ~ While You Were Sleeping
“And so I’m telling you now
(because at Christmas you tell the truth)
that to me, you are perfect.”
~ Love Actually
“In the movies, there’s a leading lady and the best friend. Now you, I can tell, are meant to be a leading lady…so why are you acting like the best friend?”
“So he’s a schmuck.”
“He’s a HUGE schmuck. How did you know?”
“He let you go. This is not a hard one to figure out.”
~ The Holiday
“I want the house, Jan. I want the picket fence. I want the ketchup fights and the tickling and the giggling.”
~ The Office
Carrie: ‘I have a girlfriend.’ It was like a bomb going off in my head.
Charlotte: He should’ve said that earlier.
Samantha: But not too early! I hate it when guys do that. ‘I have a girlfriend.’ Calm down! I just asked if that seat was taken!
~ Sex and the City
“You know, there haven’t been very many times in my life when I’ve said, ‘I wish I was married.’ I fancy myself this independent woman who can handle things on her own. But sometimes, just for a moment, I wish I had a partner. Someone to pick up the slack. Someone to make ME coffee in the morning, or wait for the cable guy, or be there when they need to deliver the stove so it doesn’t get sent back to Canada.”
~ Gilmore Girls (spoken by Lorelai Gilmore, my all-time favorite TV character….and that’s not just because I’ve been told that I look like her. 
)
And….the following lines are from “Hitch”:
Basic Principle: No woman wakes up saying, “I hope I DON’T get swept off my feet today.”
It happens in the blink of an eye. One minute you’re enjoying your life, and the next moment, you’re wondering how you ever lived without them.
Life is not about the breaths you take, but about the moments that take your breath away.
I’ve waited my whole life to feel this miserable.
People who are guarded are afraid that you can see right through them. That’s why they hide behind layers of secrecy and humor.
I’m a guy. When do we get anything right the first time?
2 comments August 4, 2009
Are women becoming more beautiful?
I read this article that suggests that women are evolving to become more beautiful as a whole, based on the research that beautiful women are likely to have more children but fewer sons (meaning more daughters). My mom is beautiful….must be why she had 3 daughters and no sons!
I can see their reasoning but I always hate to jump to a conclusion based on statistical research.
1 comment July 27, 2009
It doesn’t take much to make me smile…
http://www.cardboardlove.com/most-beautiful-girl-in-the-world/
My friend and old roomie Jamie sent this to me. I’m so blessed with the friends that I have. I’m sure you know someone that you can send this to as well.
Add comment July 25, 2009
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